Monday, November 16, 2009

Day 71 - Sometimes it's best... get out of the house.

Last week my wife went travelling to do speak at a conference in Iowa. While there she was able to see my parents (and my aunt) and then was able to head up into Minnesota to see some friends. Meanwhile, as you know, I remained home to watch after the Wonderpup and the two cats. Also, it rained the entire time she was gone (as if the state was mourning her absence).

She returned Saturday afternoon, and she looked green around the gills (pardon the fishing pun). Evidently she somehow managed to pick up H1N1, AKA the piggy flu. I have to admit that I hate getting sick. I make a horrible patient and tend to whine and make a big deal about little things. So, despite missing my wife, I've kept my distance (I haven't even kissed her yet) in hopes of not becoming a whining little baby.

On top of all this, I've been riding the emotional roller coaster of not having a job and the bills piling up (I know, put me in a skirt and call me Sally). Thanks to my new fishing buddy here in NC, I managed to get a lead on a possible job. I ended leaving a message on the machine, and then followed up a couple times thereafter with no avail.

You can then imagine what state of mind I was in, when my wife questioned us on our finances. I totally admit that I was in the wrong, and that she did not deserve what came next. In order to save my marriage, I decided it was best to get some fresh air (and perspective). I jumped into the Trout-mobile and resisted the temptation to lay down some rubber leaving the driveway.

I ended up at the private lake that our housing development owns. I pulled into the lot and was relieved not to see the teenagers who hang out there. I try to withhold judgement against them, as I was a stupid teen once, but the appearance is that they are always up to no good. I pulled into the parking spot and tried to get some perspective. Nope, not yet.

After a few moments in the car to just be, I decided that since I was here I should at least cast a line. Ever since this blog has started, the Trout-mobile has always had a fly rod in the trunk. I went to load up my old standby, but then decided to go with the 4 weight. I grabbed the graphite rod tube, unscrewed the top, and then proceeded to put the rod together.

I walked to the dock, all the while keeping my eyes open for the tell tale signs of fish. A couple rings a little further out, but nothing too promising. I tied on a Pink Squirrel and then flipped the line over the end of the dock. It was then that I noticed how murky the water actually was. It wasn't just the failing light that made the water look dark, it was the week of rain. Great...

I only had my line in the water for a moment when a guy walks up on the dock. I could tell by his demeanor that he was having the same kind of day that I was. We spoke a few words, and then I was asked if I had caught anything yet. Not yet. Nor had I gained any perspective. I told him that I expected a fish soon.

Some footsteps on the wooden dock alerted me to a new visitor. A kid in red flip flops was watching me and my clanking vest. I said hello. A couple more words exchanged, then I got the same question again. Again I said not yet, but if he waited I would catch one soon enough. I made a few casts and sure enough a little sunfish took the fly.

I'm sitting here trying to make a connection between that fish and the perspective that I gained from this outing. I truly can't make one. In fact, now that I think about it, the perspective didn't come until I was at home having supper. What I did gain was a calming feeling. I was comfortable with the rod in my hand and my mind released the anger that I had, in order to make room for the fishing mentality. As all good anglers understand, nervous energy does not make for good fishing.

Maybe this is one of the reasons I go fishing. Maybe it's to get in the right frame of mind so that we can then accept the perspective that we are looking for. Nervous energy equals bad fishing, therefore we calm ourselves down so that we can catch fish. Which then allows our body to accept new realities. Hmmm... interesting.

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